Goodbye

Fellow bloggers,

The time has come for me to say "goodbye." A week from Monday I start graduate school, and I am sorry to say that this hobby will have to go for now. I have really enjoyed reading all your blogs and writing my own, but it is my goal to graduate with honors and to do that, I must eliminate some extraneous activities. I will pray for all of you, and from time to time, I may post a few words (probably through Chris' blog). Please do not be hurt if it is a while before I can read your blog- I will try to read through occasionally, but I'm not sure how much time I will have.
I love you all!
-S
PS I'd like to leave you with an excerpt from a well-known poem; if I could rename it, I'd call it "Practical Faith" (the real title is "If" and it is an awesome poem). I hope you enjoy it.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
...If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And-which is more- you'll be a Man, my son!
-Rudyard Kipling

Bigger news than potty training!

Okay, you thought I was excited before- wait until I tell you what just happened: Hannah asked Jesus into her heart! She has been talking a lot about Him and wanting to see Him, and so today she was just adamant about it and I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to share the Gospel with her. So we talked about the beginning and Adam and Eve and Jesus' birth, death and resurrection. Then we talked about how it was all for us and she said a prayer asking Jesus to be her friend and Lord and to be a part of His family! I am so excited! Please pray for her and Chris and myself so that we can lead her continuously on the straight and narrow.
One really excited Mommy!
-S

I can't believe it!

My son is potty training! At 20 months and without any real prodding from me!
I put him on the potty once or twice before his bath, and now he wants to go all the time!
Yes, I am excited b/c Hannah took forever to potty train- over 16 months! Jeremiah asked to go this morning when he got up and after his snack. When he went after snack, he was dry (2.5 hours) and went! Wow! Kids really are different aren't they! I thought being a boy that he would be the slow one, but he's not. He even wants to use toilet paper (it's so cute). Anyway, I just am amazed. I think it's time for easy ups (I have to remove his diaper all the time) and a potty of his own.
An impressed Mommy,
-S

The Call

On my way to the bus stop, during my 17th year, God spoke to my heart: " I have a great work for you to do." Later on, I felt the distinct call to be a missionary- but I didn't know how or when. I remember going to see Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" with my grandmother that same year and I remember my heart stirring- no, practically bursting as Belle sang, "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell... I want so much more than they've got planned." And I wanted to yell, "That's exactly how I feel!" I remember also when I received the call to be a missionary that I stood up in church and told the congregation, "I'm not sure where I'm going, but I know that God has called me to preach the Gospel." Shortly thereafter, my pastor began asking me to preach on Sunday nights. At 17, I preached my first sermon. A little later on, I went to Emmanuel to get a teaching degree so I could be a missionary. I was focused. Along the way, I met Chris and married and had two beautiful children- but the desire to teach God's word has not left me. Over the years I have been burdened to speak to women and teach them God's truth. FOr seven years I kept up a list on my wall to have a women's ministry- my goals for that ministry and prayers. Now, I am feeling the desire to teach and preach again- stronger than it has been for a long time. And I have recently heard the Holy Spirit whispering to me, " I want you to teach my people." Now, I am not sure what that means, because as a young mom, I know I have time b/f I can do a lot. I also know that I must be in agreement with my husband- but the call is unmistakable and it is a like a fire shut up in my bones- I must speak the truth to all who will hear. I must tell them the truth. I am not sure how. I am not sure when. I am not sure to whom (women, children, families...) I only know I must speak it.
I am also not sure why I am blogging this, but I felt I must. Please pray for me- I only want to do His will.
-S

Will the real Jesus please stand up?

Yesterday, when the kids and I went to pick up Chris, Hannah saw a man with a beard and shoulder-length hair at his work. She piped up, "It's Jesus!" Needless to say, we all had a good laugh!

Until the next blog,
-S

7 children playing, 6 activity stations, 5 cups of Gatorade (a piece)!, 4 pounds lost, 3 potty breaks, 2 points, hooray! and a fly that

I swallowed last night!
Just a short update on VBS: IT'S GREAT!!! The kids seem to really be having a great time, the volunteers are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
incredibly wonderful- as well as a group of people with hidden talents, and it hasn't rained (don't boo- I know we need it, but how about next week)? Oh, and I really did swallow a fly last night- go ahead and sing the song... There was an old lady who swallowed a fly... (but please change old to at least middle age).
Thank you LORD for helping us all have such a terrific time! Amen!
Until the next blog,
-S

talking

So, I found a verse for all of us (myself included) talkers: In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he that restrains his lips is wise- Proverbs 10:19

Sin is not lacking... oh how true that is! When I get nervous, I babble, especially when I am trying to confront someone about something. I mean, I don't want to hurt their feelings. But have you ever noticed that the more someone talks, the worse it gets? Jesus said to let your yes be yes and your no no, because after that sin comes.
So, how do we gregarious people watch ourselves on this one?
That's where the Holy Spirit steps in. He's really good to say to me, "Hush, SHawna. That's enough. Or don't go there, Shawna." Once, when a good friend of mine proposed to me, the Holy Spirit literally shut my mouth; I mean I couldn't say one word! As I said before, I get nervous during confrontation, so maybe I would have ended up saying yes and messing up everything if i had had access to talking that night. WHo knows?
Well, I'd better go. And if you're a talker like me, meditate on this verse. Hopefully it will help dampen all those fires that our tongues try to stir up.
Until the next blog,
-S

Noise in a pool

Okay, I just have to have a response on this one. Parents were taken to court b/c kids were playing too loud in the pool they have in their backyard. Go to yahoo.com and click on Pool Noise Goes to Court to read the story/watch the video; then comment. I'd really like to know what you all think.
Until the next blog,
-S

Nickel and Dimed...

Good book- very thought-provoking. Profanity is pretty raw but not great in quantity; still, I'd be careful if you can't handle that kind of stuff. Found out author is an atheist. One night she attends a tent meeting at a church and this is how she ends... "But Jesus makes his appearance here only as a corpse; the living man, the wine-guzzling vagrant and precocious socialist, is never once mentioned, nor anything he ever had to say. Christ crucified rules, and it may be that the true business of modern Christianity is to crucify him again and again so that he could never get a word out of his mouth... I get up to leave...and walk out to search for my car, half expecting to find Jesus out there in the dark, gagged and tethered to a tent pole." (Ehrenreich 68-69)
Oh boy does that make you think.
In another part of the book she says the following: " The worst for some reason (she was a waitress), are the Visible Christians- like the ten person table, all jolly and sanctified after Sunday night service, who run me mercilessly and then leave me $1 on a $92 bill." (Ehrenreich 36) Hmm...
How often do we spout our Christianity instead of demonstrate it- Christ's love- to others?
I have a friend who will never go out to eat unless he can leave a larger than normal tip. That is not because he wants to appear better than anyone; it's because he believes that as Christians we should go above and beyond what others give- give abundantly. I agree with him.
Feel free to comment about either passage.
Until the next blog,
-S

random thoughts

• Thanks Debbie for the comment! I agree wholeheartedly. One thing that really bothers me as an educator is that on a lot of the Disney sitcoms, most of the teachers are portrayed as complete idiots (the one exception I've found is Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World). I think this is ironic since Disney rewards educators for all their hard work and exceptional teaching practices. Come to think of it, most grownups are portayed that way- as buffoons- and yes, as the ones who are wrong all the time. Do you think this is anarchy in the making?
• I just got a new book. It is not the type I usually read, but it just really jumped out at me. The book, Nickel and Dimed...On (Not) Getting By in America, (by Barbara Ehrenreich) is about a journalist who went undercover to see how the working poor in America really survives. So far it is very interesting. I'll keep you all informed.
• I just saw "The Nativity Story." In my opinion, it was very good. I especially loved the slight humor of the wisemen and the sweetness of Joseph. You know, it's funny. As a young adult I never thought about the ramifications of Mary's conception. I never thought of her being shunned by others for her apparent lack of self-control. Or what Joseph must have gone through knowing that the child was not his but choosing to accept Him as his own. Makes you think twice about judging others because how do we know what is going on in someone's life. And like I am learning a lot about- not everything is as it appears. The movie is well done and very enchanting to watch- a good family film- even in late June!
• God is moving in the COTN Patch!! I have two key people who now want to get really involved with the Patch! I am so excited! God is answering mine and other's prayers. Thank you LORD for this blessing of help!
• Please be praying for VBS. Kristin and I are really wanting to see God bless through this major event. We would love to see kids come to know Jesus during this week. Please pray for all hindrances and distractions that satan would throw out would be thwarted. Also pray for Kristin, her team, myself, and my team that we would hear what God is saying to do/pray for and be united to help show the love of Christ with parents and children alike. Thank you!
• I am sooooo proud of my husband for sharing his heart today. I knew he was going to speak, but I did not know about what. For Chris to talk about his anger problem is a huge deal. You have to know my husband; this is way out of his comfort zone. I know that God is working on him and drawing him to a closer relationship with Him. Please pray for him often; it is not easy to change.

Well, that is all for now.

Until the next blog,

-S

A biased media

I was watching a snippet of Kyle XY the other night and noticed a few things. First, the young man wanted to go to church in the first place because he met a new girl who went there. Then the mother told the father (or vice versa -I can't really remember) not to smile because church was not meant to be fun. Finally when Kyle got there, he pointed out all the incongruities and hypocricies in the church (i.e. unfaithfulness...) Now I did not watch much b/c I was just flipping through, but I noticed that Kyle did not mention anything about the good stuff he noticed, nor did he even seem to notice good stuff. He was respectful of the quiet atmosphere, but really all in all it was all negative, and this got me thinking.
To be unbiased you need to have both view points. Well, television does not! Christians are portrayed as legalists or fruit cakes or both! What is with that?? Is the media that scared of the truth? And don't you dare mention the name of Jesus! Wow! I mean people go off on you.
So what is the media afraid of? Are they afraid of being called out if they show both sides? What happened to freedom of religion? Why are other religions shown as great and wonderful, but Christians are portrayed as boneheads? What is the deal with this?
These are questions I am pondering- would love your input.
Until the next blog,
-S

Thoughts for the morning

• So I was thinking and this is what God dropped into my thoughts-

Many times we see God as a prism- minus the light. We see Him (God) in only one way: i.e. - all holiness- we then create all these rules and regulations-and live according to that one view of God- a clear crystal- a one-sided God
But God is not a clear crystal nor one-sided and as we get to know Him we see how He truly is: a beautiful, multi-colored God, not a clear, plain one!

• Parenthood is teaching me a lot about my relationship with God- This morning Jeremiah wanted a banana, so I got one out and started to put it in the snack section of his bouncy seat. Then I noticed how dirty the snack holders were, so I carried the banana back to the kitchen so I could get a wet paper towel. Well, when Jeremiah saw me leaving with the banana, he went nuts! He screamed and screamed all while I was wetting the paper towel. I tried to tell him I'd be back, butI have to admit after a short while, I no longer felt like giving him the banana- after all, I was only trying to make the eating experience better by cleaning up the mess and germs. But he would not stop screaming until I came back with the banana- then he was fine. Hmm?? Makes me think. Does God many times want to give us something good, but first He has to clean some other things up so we will enjoy our blessing(s) better? How do we react? Do we scream and yell probably causing Him to rethink the blessing, or do we wait patiently and trust Him. Something to chew on, hmm?

• School is getting closer and closer. If you haven't figured out by now, I love (phileo, not agape mind you) school. I love to learn new things! I love school supplies! Went to Office Max to get some binders, paper... and I felt giddy as soon as I walked in the door. THe smells, the textures, the colors- ahhh, my senses went wild! Textbooks came last week, and I admit, I have been pouring over them (yes, I was the child who loved to get her books on the first day of school so she could look at all the stuff she was going to learn that year) and I am learning a lot already. Can't wait to meet all my classmates and professors!

• Hannah is finally potty trained- yeah! yesterday, however, she had an accident in the living room. I looked at her and I sighed. Before I could say anything else, Hannah said, "It was an accident Mommy." She said it with such authority- but not disrespectful- that I had to smile. So, we sprinkled baking soda, washed legs, and went back to life. Hmm? What would happen if we gave that kind of grace to others.

Okay, have to go. COming next blog, the biased media.

Until the next blog,

-S

in a box

After highschool I dated a guy who told me I lived in a box. I wonder if that's how Jesus felt when He came to Earth? Did He see His people as living in a box? Do you live in one? Think about it.

Quick post

Haven't forgotten about everyone. Spending a lot of time preparing for school and VBS. Reading ahead in text books- wondering a lot about what all I am reading. Love you all!
Until the next blog,
-S

EEC

For many students at Emmanuel those initials caused heart palpitations. Not her; anybody but her! If you don't know, I am referring to Dr. Edna Earl Christmas, professor and terrorizer of Emmanuel students pursuing an education degree. Her tests were unbelievable, and her papers were even worse.
I ended up with Edna Earl three times during my undergraduate studies; First time I had her for Human Growth and Development, and I got my first "C" in college. The following year I had her for Ed Psych. I remember a time I spent four hours in Dr. Christmas' office revising a paper she had returned to me for this class. Four hours, and I ended up with a B, I think. A "B"! And I worked my heart out! For the course I ended up with a "B" also. Finally, during my student teaching, I had her for Behavior Management. Along with a 50 page paper, I had to attend lectures on student behavior, etcetera. For that class, I made an "A". I also scored really high on my Praxis II test because of her attention to detail (we had to read the entire book pretty much, and know everything about it!).
So why am I bringing up Edna Earl? Because she pushed me harder than very few ever had. She made me question my values, beliefs, and educational philosophy. She made me so uncomfortable, that at times I wanted to scream! She did not accept excuses, but neither did she lack compassion. She was very logical and analytical. She examined all pieces of evidence very objectively, and did not play favorites...and I loved her for it.
Dr. CHristmas and I got really close over the three years I studied under her (for my 25th birthday,she and the rest of my behavior management group, even threw me a party), and I will always have fond memories of her of her because she took a little girl and made her question the world. Hats off to you Dr. Christmas! And thanks!

Glory in a cloud

Short blog today- Last night saw a huge cloud coming home from church. Suddenly there was a burst of orange light from behind it- I'm guessing heat lightning. But when I saw it, my heart started pounding and I started watching that cloud more and more. What if this were the day? I got so excited thinking: what if the rapture occurs right now? I felt so elated and my ears were straining; listening for a trumpet. Hallelujah! He is coming! Didn't happen last night, but it is going to happen.
Until the next blog,
-S

Life in a gold fish bowl (random thoughts)

Aren't goldfish cute to look at? I know kids really like them. But I wonder how the goldfish feel? What if they knew that they were destined to be a lot bigger and have large ponds to swim in instead of a tiny bowl?
Stay with me here:
I was just looking at my potted plants on the front porch, and I noticed that they are overflowing- seeking more space. And I thought, they would actually be okay if I left them there, but they wouldn't grow anymore really. And what kind of life would that be for them?? Now, I know that neither the goldfish, nor the plants probably notice any difference, but what about us? how often do we find ourselves swimming in a little bowl, afraid to move to the pond- or overflowing our pots, but afraid to move to a roomier one. God knows, however, just when we need to move.
I thought about my kids also while looking at the plants, and I thought- how easy it is to keep them in a small bowl- safe, where I can watch over there every move- close to me- but then they wouldn't grow like God intends for them to do would they? Yes, they would be cute to look at, but they wouldn't grow to be all they could be. And this really made me think about life in a goldfish bowl. God said in John 10:10 that He (Christ) came to give us life and life more abundantly." Doesn't sound like a fishbowl does it? Yet, how many times do we "freak out" the minute God tries to move us to a larger area of our walk with Him? (Ever see a fish out of water?)
We don't trust- God, ourselves, whatever, -we can't see a bigger tank being prepared for us; we just see a small bowl we are put in while He is preparing our new home.
What if the next time He moves us, we just swim around peacefully, knowing that He is a good God and that HE will work everything together for our good, and wait expectantly for our bigger tank? Exciting thought, hmm?
Would love any thoughts/comments you have on this.
Until the next blog,
-S

Tough

My friend Jana is undergoing surgery # 9 tomorrow morning for cancer. SHe had only recently finished chemo when she discovered a lump in her chest; it turned out to be a malignant tumor. Jana has AMAZED me with her spirit of " I REFUSE to give up!" (You'd have to know Jana to hear her say that in her loud, Southern accent!) I came across a song by Craig Morgan (Country Music star) and oh boy did it fit her!The song is called "Tough", and I encourage all of you to listen to it as soon as you can. It will put some perspective on your life!
Another song by Craig is called , "If I had my way." Now, I have never had cancer, so I cannot relate to that personal fight, but I have been through other tough times, and when I heard this song, it really made me think. I for one, knowing myself, would definitely have taken the "easy path", but if I had, I would never have learned how good God is. There have been times when I have wanted to give up and go to the "the woods (that) are lovely dark and deep (1), but God always reminds me , "but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep." (1)
In other words, I have too much to do before I am called to heaven. God says that the "harvest is white"- in other words it is ready- ripe.

Also, I would like to answer the tag PR gave me about our COTN volunteers. I truly am blessed to have such wonderful workers in the COTN Patch! People who faithfully give of their time to sit, play with, and teach all the little ones who come our way. I am honored to lead such a terrific group of people!
I love you all!
Until the next blog,
-S

(1)- Robert Frost, "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"

I love you all!

I got in!

Just wanted to tell all my blogger friends/family that I was accepted to Capella Univeristy!THanks for all your prayers!
ANd hey Debbie, I didn't know you read my blog. Welcome!
Love you all!
Until the next blog,
-S

Grad School Here I come!

For the past several months, I have been working on getting into graduate school. I have read numerous books, looked into universities, prayed, talked to different admissions counselors, prayed, checked out various programs, prayed... you get the picture! Anyway, after all this, I have applied to Capella University- one of the top on-line universities. I am awaiting my actual admission, but it looks very good for me and I'm walking by faith. I am sooooooo excited. I will be pursuing an MS in Reading and literacy (one of my absoulute passions). Chris has been working to put together a nice computer set up for me, and I am so proud of him for installing more ram and a usb card in my computer- all by himself! Go baby!
I am scheduled to begin on September 1st, so I don't have long to go.
Even though I know it is going to cost, I have been scouring books and preparing to apply for numerous scholarships and grants. I also am kicking up my tutoring services. And my sweet husband has graciously given me permission to use our "Canada" money until I finish (which by the way I have four years to do so) and then we can start saving for our trip again. I am going to do all I can to keep my costs really low. Please join with me if you would in prayer that God would open up the doors for me to bring the money in. But I'm not worried; He'll provide.Well, it's late (or early depending on how you look at it) so I am going to get back to bed. I will let you know when I receive my actual acceptance (the enrollment director said she'll call me by Wed at latest but probably earlier). If I was superstitious I'd say do a Haley Mills like on Parent Trap and cross your fingers tight! But instead I'll just say, pray (and okay, if you want to cross your fingers; I won't mind)! Blessings to you all and until the next blog...
-S

P.S. Thanks for the "thought" you gave me to ponder PR! It was good to zoom out.

Messing up

I think it is safe to say that Adam and Eve messed up pretty badly, yes?
Well, today as I was reading about after the death of Abel and exile of Cain, a new thought popped into my head. It says that ... then men began to call on the LORD- and I thought- they have to know about God from someone. Hmm, must be their parents/grandparents Adam and Eve. This means that Adam and Eve must have repented and started teaching their off spring about God. What good news that is for we parents who are also imperfect! Even when we mess up, God is there to help us renew our testimony and still leave a lasting legacy for Him. Now that is AWESOME! So, in heaven, let's go easy on Adam and Eve- after all- we're not perfect either.
Until the next blog,
-S

Moving on

Hey guys! Sorry it has been so long since I've written. I just published my draft from the 9th of April, so please feel free to read it along with this one.
So much has happened since I last wrote.
Major events:
* My sister-in-law Amanda Collick (now Amanda Rich) got married on April 21st. It was a beautiful wedding, filled with love and originality! I will try to publish a picture so you can see for yourself how wonderful the couple looked.

* My Aunt Bennita died on April 23rd. the kids and I went up to KEntucky and then Cincinnati for a memorial service in honor of her. It was a memorial service filled with love and arguments between my mom's best friend and my former pastor over whether you could be Catholic (or any other religion) and still go to heaven. I got to see my sister and her two boys, and other family members and friends I've not seen for years.

* Chris and I celebrated our 8th anniversary on May 1st. Unfortunately, since the kids have been sick, we cared for them and went to bed early.

Other than that, I have been praying and feel God is leading me to go back to graduate school. I am not sure how I am going to pay for it yet (I really don't want to take any more loans out), but I know that if God is truly doing the leading, He WILL provide the funds I need.

I also have been fuming over the idiocity (If that's not a word, it should be) of people in the liberal sect of our government who want to make it illegal to say that homosexuality is wrong. Whatever happened to free speech??? I don't believe in "gay bashing" but I'm sorry, the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong,and that is that. Now, I am not a confrontational kind of person, but to try to pass a law that says that we are no longer entitled to our opinions and beliefs, is just plain WRONG! And what do we do? We just sit back and let the government chip away at our freedoms little by little until one day we're going to look up and realize that we have had our mouth and our hands and our feet chipped away and we will no longer be able to speak, or do, or go. Well, I say NO!!!!! I say PRAY! Humble yourselves and stand int he gap for the Christians who are going to their deaths for serving Christ (in Pakistan a 12 year old Christian girl was raped repeatedly by four muslim men and people are dying everywhere! And what are we doing??? Driving in our fancy cars, sitting in our fancy houses watching American Idol and letting our freedom go our the window and not caring about anyone but ourselves. God help us and forgive us!
Call on the name of the LORD, RePENT! and sit in sackcloth and ashes (metaphorically speaking) and weep for the state of our nation! Oh LORD forgive us! Woe is me, LORD! WOe is me! Don't just sit back and let all this roll off your backs, please! Stand up and dig your feet in and clothe yourself with the armor of the LORD and FIGHT!- not just for national freedom, but for international freedom and for the LORD to send His Spirit out unto all the nations of the world. And cry out for His protection, His help, His love to surround us all.

Well, I will get off my soapbox for now. I am not sure if what I wrote even makes sense, but it is time for Christians to rise up and not let another Madelyne Murray O'Hair take away our freedom. Okay, I really am stepping down now.

Well, I am going to go for now. Blessings to you all!

Until the next blog,
-Shawna

Letting Go part 1 (a different take)

Holding on is not always a good thing. SOmetimes it is time to let go. Then again, sometimes we have to hold on harder than ever. As a child, I imagined myself in so many roles- mother, wife, writer, teacher,cardiologist, marine biologist, botanist on and on. what can I say? I am a dreamer. And with a very curious personality, I was always up for something new. Anyone ever seen Barefoot in the Park? Well, Jane Fonda's character was me. Oh how I loved life! Now, don't get me wrong, I still love life, but a lot of my old dreams seem to be fading away-the way old dreams do. I guess what I am trying to say, is that I am ready to grow up. I am tired of dancing around the clouds like a balloon that has lost its owner- not sure what I want to be when I "grow up." Not even sure I want to grow up. (I hear a Peter Pan song coming on). I remember going to an interview several years ago, and the woman doing the hiring said something so profound to me. She said, "Now I see a girl who can't decide what she wants to be when she grows up." Hmm. She was right. I was interviewing for a bank position. If anyone knows me at all, they should know that a bank position is not the position for me. But, at the time, I thought what the heck, I need a job- I flopped at teaching- I'll do anything right about now. Those words, however, have haunted me for so long. Since then I have thought about (and tried sometimes) a lot of different careers. Shawna- personal wedding consultant. nah! Shawna- medical transcriptionist. Nuh- uh. Shawna- women's motivational speaker. Perhaps on the side? Shawna- professional writer? ( I am an extrovert- not an introvert- don't want to isolate myself from people). Shawna- what is it God has called me to do, COllick has been stuck! So, back to letting go. It is time for me to let go of "tomorrow"- today is the day God has given me. It is also time for me to let go of my past mistakes. OKay, so I had a bad last year as a teacher. That doesn't make me a failure in the education department. I am ready to get rooted and grounded and come down from the sky. Pray for me.
Until the next blog,
-S

I am blessed

This morning on the way to the bathroom, I stepped on something cold and squishy in my bedroom, and I didn't scream. Then in the living room, I tripped over something hard and nearly went flying across the room- and I didn't yell out. Both of these events occurred at 5:20 am (I am an early riser). What is the point of this, you ask. Well, I am blessed. You see, I am blessed because the cold, squishy something was a frog filled with water (like a stress reliever ball- only it's a frog) and I know how much fun my son has while playing with it. ANd the hard object was one of my daughter's shoes - and I am blessed because she has more than one pair. And even more so, I am blessed because I get to see these two precious faces every morning. We never know how much time we have with our loved ones, so let's cherish it. Enjoy those blessings that God has given you- the blessing of a husband or wife who stands by your side, even in those hair-brained schemes you think up. Enjoy your children and the house (or apt) God has provided for you. Just enjoy life, and don't be so quick to complain. Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly, so CARPE DIEM! Suck the marrow out of life, and holler loudly "YAWP!"
Until the next blog,
-Shawna

a little maid

do you ever feel insignificant?Do you ever feel like what you do/are doing doesn't really matter? Sometimes as a mom, I feel this way. I feel like changing diapers and potty training my three year old, teaching my one year old how to eat (and thereby ending up covered with sticky arms, hands, sleeves and jeans- he loves to grab whatever part of me (usually my sleeve) he can reach while he is eating (but I digress), and doing the other hundred myriad things that moms do is just not really that important on the "working for Jesus" list. After all, surely there must be something more "ministry-oriented" than picking poop up off the floor once and even sometimes twice daily! The past two days I have been studying Naaman's recovery from leprosy, and today a verse jumped out at me that has been there all along, but seemed to really be from God for my (and maybe yours too) current circumstances: "...and had bought away captive out of the land of Israel a little maid; and she waited on Naaman's wife." II Kings 5: 2 b-c
Hmm, a little maid. Just yesterday I caught myself saying to my daughter when she informed me that she had dropped her froggy, "Then pick it up; you're a big girl. Besides, I'm not your personal maid." Now I did not say this in a mean manner, just very matter-of- fact. But again, I digress. Sometimes mother hood can make you feel like a "little maid" (is there anyone out there? Can I get an "amen!") So, I went a little further: "And she (the little maid) said unto her mistress, Would God my lord were with the prophet that is in Samaria! for he would recover him of his leprosy." II Kings 5: 3 KJV
Now picture this with me. This little woman/girl is Naaman's wife's personal servant. She takes care of her with the utmost concern. I am sure that she did mundane chores daily for her mistress. And I wonder if this little maid ever felt invisible, insignificant, or just plain taken advantage of at times? But then, in the midst of a normal day, she made a comment about the prophet Elisha. And because of her comment Naaman went to the prophet and was healed after dipping seven times in the Jordan River. Wow! I doubt the little maid said to herself when she woke up, "today, I will start the ball rolling for Naaman's cure." No, she probably got up and served her mistress breakfast in bed and started letting light into the room, pulling clothes out... whatever little maids did in Bible times. But that little maid loved her mistress and must have seen her very worried or sad over her husband's leprosy, so she spoke up. WHy, because of love and compassion. Now as moms, I know we love our children with all our hearts, but still sometimes we get frustrated when we're stuck in a "rut" doing the same chores and activities over and over (Do you ever count how many times you sweep the floor- for me it's approximately five-six times per day- I'm not kidding- three meals and at least two snacks times two makes lots of crumbs). But we never know when our children may speak something into our lives that is so profound (out of the mouth of babes),or when we may speak something into their young hearts that changes them (in a good way) forever. In other words, every day, every duty, is a chance to experience a miracle! Who knows what God might do through you while you are sweeping the floor or changing diapers. Who knows what thought He might plant in your head for a different season in your life. SO, don't grumble and complain that you're just a"little maid". Embrace it! Enjoy serving your children, because in all truth, even though we may not think what we're doing is "ministry", God does, and He is cheering us on! And, you never know what the new day may hold for you, your family, or your future. I love you moms, and I'm praying for you!
(Oh and in case you think I am frustrated with being a stay-at-home mom, I'm not. I love it ( I just sometimes get frustrated with doing the same chores over and over- but not being with my kids)

Until the next blog,

dipping only six times

"And Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean." II Kings 5:10 KJV

Is anyone out there impatient? I was thinking about my life as of late, and I realize that so many times I choose to dip only six times instead of the full seven. Truth be told, sometimes I only dip once or twice before I give up because I haven't seen the results I want. I wonder what would have happened if Naaman had only dipped six times, or even only three or four. Using my sanctified imagination, I can imagine myself in his position
Dip one: Look at body- I'm gonna be clean- yeah praise God!
Dip two: Look at body more closely- Not yet- but I'm gonna be clean- yeah!
Dip three: Begin to scrutinize specific parts of body- Ugh! I don't see any difference! Maybe I made a mistake in listening to that prophet- after all he wouldn't even come and see me in person- just sent a messenger but I'll try again- grumble, grumble, grumble...
Dip four: Okay, I bet I look like the biggest fool to everybody- looking at body- I don't see any difference
Dip five: Okay, maybe I need to dip harder, faster, more forcefully, maybe I am supposed to dive into the water- I do it and still no change
Dip six: I'm not doing this again if it doesn't work. I just really misunderstood what I was supposed to do. I'm going to try something else.
And without the prompting of the HOly Spirit, I probably would have talked myself out of a seventh dip therby cancelling my healing. Why do I do this, I ask myself. What is it in me that drives me to want to give up before I reach my goal? For me, it boils down to two things: laziness and fear. In college I was diagnosed with a debilitating disease- Fibromyalgia. Now, if anyone out there thinks it is "all in your head" come see me! Anyway, back to my story, two things happened the spring semester of my junior year: one, I made the part of an understudy bride in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and two I almost quit college. I was carrying sixteen hours of detailed and highly hands-on classes, so I was already stressed. Add to that the fierce pain that made it hard to walk, laugh, eat... and I was stressed to the max! Because of fear, I backed out of the play- even though I had been so excited to be a part of it. I was afraid that it would be too much for me with all my other commitments, so I gave up the chance to be a lead role (which I had always dreamed of- I love to sing and dance) in a musical (I would have performed twice) because of fear.
Because of laziness (plus pain) I went to the dean and asked him if I could please withdraw (or even take failing grades) and get out of this program. I felt confused and scared because the work was really hard and I wasn't sure I had chosen the right major, heard correctly from God, you name it, I gave the excuse! And Dean Beaddy listened to me cry and complain until I ran out of steam. Then he said the words "But you're not a quitter." He was calm and kind, but firm. And I smiled and chastised him for reminding me of the fact; then prayed and squared my shoulders back and finished college with a 3.37 GPA. It is a fact that I am very thankful for and proud of because I know God helped me finish.
So, as of late, I have really been asking God to help me with "stick-with-it-ness"-after all, I don't want to miss my "healing" because of fear or laziness. Oh, and I think part of why I have a "quitters mentality" at times, is because I jump into things based on my feelings rather than facts. I go with mygut a lot. And, although I have a good gut, God's word is so much better for me to base my decisions on. I'm tired of dipping six times and missing all the good things God has for me- what about you?
Until the next blog,
-S

Letting Go

In my closet is a long, plastic box. I have kept the box for several years now. My heart used to ache whenever I saw that box- that's why it stayed hidden out of my sight for two years- but now, I feel a tugging, a gentle whisper to Let go. I felt the same whisper over four years ago when I found out I was expecting Hannah. My heart swirled with anxiety at the idea, but in a very deep way, I knew it was time. Chris (my husband) and I trekked through Victoria Bryant in early July carrying three precious containers until we came to a flowing creek that was so beautiful with the sun streaming down on it. After a few short words, we opened the containers and released our most precious possessions into the water below- our children's ashes. You see, as young newlweds, we desired to have children soooo badly- yet we couldn't. No matter how hard we tried, we remained infertile. Finally, I went to the doctor, and she declared me "infertile." Oh how it broke my heart! But, she put me on some medicine to try to fix me. Lo and behold, it worked! I immediately became pregnant with twins! Chris and I were so excited! The months passed and I began to feel tiny taps and flutterings- I could feel my babies! I would let Chris feel my stomach, but I'm not sure he really felt anything- but boy I did! But our joy was to be short-lived. Four and half months after carrying the twins, I began having contractions a few weeks before Christmas. Then my water broke. Three days later, I went into labor. Benjamin "Benny" Wesley Collick was born close to 4:00 PM on December 18th. Annabelle Grace Collick was eight hours or so later (yes, I had to go through labor twice!). So much more happened that night but I will spare you the details. We did, however, decide to have our babies cremated (I did not want them buried- I wanted them right beside me), and we had a beautiful memorial service for them. A friend gave us two beautiful Asian baby urns, and we placed our babies ashes into them. I kept those urns out, so that I could see them. I rocked them and cried- heart-broken as to why God would let this happen, and I did my best to go on with life. In May of the next year, I discovered I was pregnant again. This time Chris and I held our breaths and waited until the fourth month was past. At five months, we began to breathe again. Our hopes started coming back, and we were positive that this baby would live. How happy we were. I welcomed each hard kick and flip. I welcomed all pregnancy discomforts! But this joy was to be short-lived also. At the beginning of our sixth month, I experienced contractions on the way to school (I was a teacher), and within a few hours my water had once again broken. Again, I won't supply you with all the details, but a few days later, I went into labor and delivered Matthew Christopher Collick. This time, Chris and I were devestated. Our newly reblossoming faith in God's goodness was ripped apart and crushed as we held our lifeless precious baby boy. He was beautiful- in truth, he looked a lot like Jeremy (our son). Well, once more we chose cremation instead of burial, and instead of a baby, I carried home a bag, some clothes, and a hardened heart. Everything really went down hill after that, until one night when I just started singing to God the song "He is Able." When I got to the part that says, "...if He chooses not to move in the way that we prayed He would, then confident, He's working all together for my good..." (Truth), I just kept singing that part over and over until finally I just started telling God how much I loved Him and nomatter what He chose to do ,I would still praise Him and still love Him! And at that point, He spoke to my heart so sweetly: Because you were willing to give it all up and trust Me no matter what, I have granted your request."
Well not very long after I found out I was pregnant again, and this time, scared though I was, I prayed and trusted God that I would not miscarry again. And it was then that God spoke to my heart and told me to Let go.
And now, here I am, over four years later, and once again His still small voice is speaking to me. Only this time, I have a beautiful daughter and a sweet (but mischievous) son. My life is filled with dishes and diapers and learning the abc's all over again (how many times can you sing that song without feeling like you're going to go bonkers??), and a box that still sits in my closet- a box that God is tugging at my heart to let go of. Now, I am no fool and I will not get rid of all my memories, but I feel God whispering to my heart to let some of the things in that box go. In that box are several blankets- blankets that held my children and blankets that I rocked my urns in. There is also a little outfit that Matthew wore. Yes, I could keep them and let time ruin them. Or I could find someone who needs them instead of my children- who are probably giving Jesus heart palpitations right now- after all they're "my" children and I know how I was let alone my offspring... and who are never going to have any need of the stuff again. There are still foot prints and bracelets and cards from loved ones, but these I do not hear God saying to let go- or maybe I just don't want to hear that yet. But the blankets and clothes (and some books) are peeling themselves away from my heart.
So, once more, I will let go. I will give to others what I myself lost. And that,I believe is the best way I could ever honor my children's memory.

thoughts

you know, I was just spending some time in the Word of God and I got to thinking about the garden of Gesthemane (sp?) and how Jesus was praying,Please take this cup away from me, Father... nevertheless not my will, but Yours be done. I have read some commentaries and I think even heard some comments that Christ was not concerned about the pain of the cross; He was concerned about the pain of carrying everyone's sins- which makes me say- Bullocks! Yes, of course Jesus was not looking forward to the pain of carrying everyone's sins and having the Father turn away- I am sure of that-but I am SURE that He was also not looking forward to all the physical pain He was going to endure. I mean, come on! I hate just having a small ache or cold or virus- and here Jesus was about to be crucified after being beaten unmercifully, having His beard ripped (not "plucked" like an eyebrow- horrifically yanked out!) and spit on and mocked!And you think He was only thinking about the spiritual pain? I don' t think so! I can't stand when people take the "humanness" away from Christ and say He was only concerned about "spiritual things". He was flesh and blood who cried when He was in pain and laughed when He was happy. For me, it helps to remind myself of this when I am suffering physically to know that it is okay to be in pain and not try to "keep a stiff upper lip" (And no, that doesn't give anyone the right to be hateful to people, but it is okay to cry).

- Has anyone noticed the shrinking of inspirational fiction space in Barnes and Nobles and Borders?

a nut that's cracking

you know, I am like a nut that is cracking open. For so long, I have loved to write. I mean really loved to write. But I have never really had anyone (besides Mom and my hubby- thanks guys!)to read anything I have written. And now, I am like a nut, just bursting with information to put down in writing. All the story ideas, songs, poems... that have been brewing and swirling inside of me are dying to come forth for all to see. We shall see what happens. Maybe this blog will be for me what American Idol was to Carrie Underwood- a door that opens to something bigger. Who knows?
Until the next blog
-Shawna

musings

Quickly-
I just read some of Jason Campbell's poetry and thoughts (see my husband's blog-hope households and hockey pucks for the link- it's worth it) (ccollick.wordpress.com) I just have to agree. Oh how my heart longs to grow closer to Christ- yet I want it without the work- without the sacrifice. I am afraid that I will become so heavenly minded, I am no earthly good. Yet, my heart longs to grow- regardless of the sacrifice- regardless of what anyone thinks- I say hear hear- let me grow figs!
until the next blog
-Shawna

not a devotion

Hey all!
Thought I would take the time to tell you a little about myself.
I am married to a wonderful man and have two beautiful, and lively children who are three and one. I work part time for my church as their nursery/preschool ministry coordinator, and I am a certified teacher (but currently staying at home with my kids). I currentlyhave no pets, but in the future I would love to have a beagle or a daschund. I love to play board games, read and write. My favorite books are contemporary Christian ficition. I listen to all kinds of music; it just depends on what mood I am in. I really enjoy a caramello latte and homemade cakes and cookies, but I am trying to cut down on them at the moment. Oh, I also really like to cook.

Please know that not all my blogs will be "devotionals"; sometimes I will just send out my ideas and thoughts. I welcome comments.

until the next blog
-Shawna

cleaning house

Well, I just finished doing some house cleaning and I have to say that as much as I am not crazy about swishing toilets and mopping floors, I always feel so much better when it is done. In fact, a really clean house (shiny and clean smelling) always puts a smile on my face and a spring in my step (I know- I have issues.) The only thing I like better is walking into an office supply store (like Office Depot/Max). I mean when I smell the paper and ink and see all the pens and colored stacks of paper... wow! (Again, I know, I have issues) But I digress- back to cleaning. There is just something so comforting to know that all the hidden dirt and grime and GERMS that have been inhabiting our house have been kicked to the curb once more. Take that dirt! And once again,we are free to relax in our homes even invite others into it. I think that as Christians we tend to get bogged down with sin and grime just like our homes- those words we spoke too hastily in anger, the juicy tale we just had to tell someone, and just plain apathy towards God. But when we come to Him and ask Him to clean us up, it's like BAM! Our hearts are once more sparkling and free to shine and let God's love- just like our houses. so the next time you have to roll up your sleeves, or bend your knees, remember, you'll feel so much better when the cleaning's all done.
Until the next blog
-Shawna

perfectionists

Are there any perfectionists out there? Recovering perfectionists? I am the latter, but believe me, my old self wants to jump in a lot. For example, my husband just blogged about what an excellent writer I am and how every one will be blessed by my blogs and well, I am freaked out! Here it is 12:51 am and between the excitement of writing and the pressure of wanting to write grand masterpieces, I cannot sleep. I got up to pray, but I have to admit, I couldn't keep my mind on the prayers- all I wanted to do was blog- and blog GREAT! (see what I mean about the former wanting to jump in) Oh boy, do I have it bad or what?
You see, for as long as I can remember,I have been a perfectionist- and it has given me both grand and miserable experiences. Everything I did (sometimes still do) had to be done PERFECTLY and BIG (the big part is my sanguine personality)! As a child and young adult I was never content with just being average- no, no,no. I had to be WONDERFUL, and I had to DO WONDERFUL things! When I would clean my room, I would renovate it completely- we're talking drawers reorganized and furniture rearranged. I couldn't just go in and straighten up- no, I had to re-do the entire picture. And of course my mother always praised me for how wonderful a job I had done which pleased me to no end. Then she would throw in a little "mom jab" ..."but you know Shawna, if you would just do a little bit each day, it wouldn't get so bad and take so long to clean...". And as much as I wanted to, I always failed and lived in a mess that grew bigger and bigger until I could stand it no longer, and would renovate once more. I also remember from middle school through college, desiring to do excellent papers, reports..., and planning every detail out- until it was the last minute and I had to hurriedly scribble something and hope the teacher gave grace. More often than not, I turned in C- work, because by the time I got finished planning for an A, I had no time left to complete the actual work. Can anyone relate? Why are we perfectionists like this? What is it in our brains that causes us to continue in such self-defeating ways? For me, it is plain and simple- I want to be perfect. I want to be the perfect Christian, wife, mother, daughter, friend,employee, student, teacher and every other hat that I wear- which leads me to wonder if I'm not falling for the same hook that Eve fell for... "you will be like God" or in other words- you will be perfect. No, satan is not holding out a piece of fruit for me to eat, but he does tempt me with the idea that I will finally "arrive" and and I will be loved by all; no one will be angry with me or find fault with me anymore- if I could just work hard enough to attain this long sought after dream.The more I reread this (perfectionism again) the more I uncover my reason for perfectionism- I want people to like me. I hate conflict, and when people are angry with me my first response is to feel awful! "Oh no," I think, " I messed up again!" But as I grow in my relationship with Christ, I see more and more that I don't have to be perfect. God loves me anyway, just as I am. And, it is okay if people get upset with me, so long as I make it right and don't let bitterness, anger, or depression chip away at me. I know this sounds simple, but for a recovering perfectionist, it is a HUGE step (didn't I say I had to do BIG things). So, day by day, I try to remember that my house doesn't have to be spotless (not even close right now), my kids are going to make messes (but that is part of being one and three), and if I serve "one-step" pancakes (instead of homemade), I am not a bad mother- I just want to have more time to do the really important things (like playing Dora Candly Land with my daughter and spending time with my husband). So, to all you perfectionists and recovering perfectionists, I say, "It's okay if it's not perfect,"and I say this next part with love and to myself as well as all of you- "quit wasting your energy on trying to be perfect, and instead just rest in the arms of Jesus."
Until the next blog...
-Shawna

welcome to my first blog

Hey all!
Welcome to my first blog! My husband and good friends have jumped on the proverbial blogging "wagon", and after listening to them and reading their blogs, I have decided to jump with them. What can I say? I am a writer at heart and anything that lets me share my thoughts and ideas makes me really excited. Plus, I hope that this blog can be an encouragement to stay-at-home moms- whether that encouragement comes from humorous life events (I have a toddler and a preschooler- what more do I need to say), a word in season, or even a scripture or prayer that touches your hearts.
Well, it is late, so I will go for now.
Blessings to you all, and know that God loves you with an everlasting love!