Letting Go part 1 (a different take)

Holding on is not always a good thing. SOmetimes it is time to let go. Then again, sometimes we have to hold on harder than ever. As a child, I imagined myself in so many roles- mother, wife, writer, teacher,cardiologist, marine biologist, botanist on and on. what can I say? I am a dreamer. And with a very curious personality, I was always up for something new. Anyone ever seen Barefoot in the Park? Well, Jane Fonda's character was me. Oh how I loved life! Now, don't get me wrong, I still love life, but a lot of my old dreams seem to be fading away-the way old dreams do. I guess what I am trying to say, is that I am ready to grow up. I am tired of dancing around the clouds like a balloon that has lost its owner- not sure what I want to be when I "grow up." Not even sure I want to grow up. (I hear a Peter Pan song coming on). I remember going to an interview several years ago, and the woman doing the hiring said something so profound to me. She said, "Now I see a girl who can't decide what she wants to be when she grows up." Hmm. She was right. I was interviewing for a bank position. If anyone knows me at all, they should know that a bank position is not the position for me. But, at the time, I thought what the heck, I need a job- I flopped at teaching- I'll do anything right about now. Those words, however, have haunted me for so long. Since then I have thought about (and tried sometimes) a lot of different careers. Shawna- personal wedding consultant. nah! Shawna- medical transcriptionist. Nuh- uh. Shawna- women's motivational speaker. Perhaps on the side? Shawna- professional writer? ( I am an extrovert- not an introvert- don't want to isolate myself from people). Shawna- what is it God has called me to do, COllick has been stuck! So, back to letting go. It is time for me to let go of "tomorrow"- today is the day God has given me. It is also time for me to let go of my past mistakes. OKay, so I had a bad last year as a teacher. That doesn't make me a failure in the education department. I am ready to get rooted and grounded and come down from the sky. Pray for me.
Until the next blog,
-S