dipping only six times

"And Elisha sent a messenger unto him, saying Go and wash in Jordan seven times, and thy flesh shall come again to thee, and thou shalt be clean." II Kings 5:10 KJV

Is anyone out there impatient? I was thinking about my life as of late, and I realize that so many times I choose to dip only six times instead of the full seven. Truth be told, sometimes I only dip once or twice before I give up because I haven't seen the results I want. I wonder what would have happened if Naaman had only dipped six times, or even only three or four. Using my sanctified imagination, I can imagine myself in his position
Dip one: Look at body- I'm gonna be clean- yeah praise God!
Dip two: Look at body more closely- Not yet- but I'm gonna be clean- yeah!
Dip three: Begin to scrutinize specific parts of body- Ugh! I don't see any difference! Maybe I made a mistake in listening to that prophet- after all he wouldn't even come and see me in person- just sent a messenger but I'll try again- grumble, grumble, grumble...
Dip four: Okay, I bet I look like the biggest fool to everybody- looking at body- I don't see any difference
Dip five: Okay, maybe I need to dip harder, faster, more forcefully, maybe I am supposed to dive into the water- I do it and still no change
Dip six: I'm not doing this again if it doesn't work. I just really misunderstood what I was supposed to do. I'm going to try something else.
And without the prompting of the HOly Spirit, I probably would have talked myself out of a seventh dip therby cancelling my healing. Why do I do this, I ask myself. What is it in me that drives me to want to give up before I reach my goal? For me, it boils down to two things: laziness and fear. In college I was diagnosed with a debilitating disease- Fibromyalgia. Now, if anyone out there thinks it is "all in your head" come see me! Anyway, back to my story, two things happened the spring semester of my junior year: one, I made the part of an understudy bride in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and two I almost quit college. I was carrying sixteen hours of detailed and highly hands-on classes, so I was already stressed. Add to that the fierce pain that made it hard to walk, laugh, eat... and I was stressed to the max! Because of fear, I backed out of the play- even though I had been so excited to be a part of it. I was afraid that it would be too much for me with all my other commitments, so I gave up the chance to be a lead role (which I had always dreamed of- I love to sing and dance) in a musical (I would have performed twice) because of fear.
Because of laziness (plus pain) I went to the dean and asked him if I could please withdraw (or even take failing grades) and get out of this program. I felt confused and scared because the work was really hard and I wasn't sure I had chosen the right major, heard correctly from God, you name it, I gave the excuse! And Dean Beaddy listened to me cry and complain until I ran out of steam. Then he said the words "But you're not a quitter." He was calm and kind, but firm. And I smiled and chastised him for reminding me of the fact; then prayed and squared my shoulders back and finished college with a 3.37 GPA. It is a fact that I am very thankful for and proud of because I know God helped me finish.
So, as of late, I have really been asking God to help me with "stick-with-it-ness"-after all, I don't want to miss my "healing" because of fear or laziness. Oh, and I think part of why I have a "quitters mentality" at times, is because I jump into things based on my feelings rather than facts. I go with mygut a lot. And, although I have a good gut, God's word is so much better for me to base my decisions on. I'm tired of dipping six times and missing all the good things God has for me- what about you?
Until the next blog,
-S